M.I.A

The talented failure fails again. Story of my life...

Bleed...

I bleed these words from my soul
so I can release this pent up energy.
No weapon can ever prosper against me.
I took to much from myself to let these obstacles hinder me.
Moving through this world of madness.
Trying to reach the ones that really want to hear me.
My fidelity lies with my life and my art.
Its all ive ever had.
They try to rip my mind from heart,
but I have been working way to hard
just to sustain my sanity.
Its steady waning every minute...
and every hour i get weaker,
but im trying to reach that peak.
If I have to crawl on bloody knees,
to the top... Ill never plead--- for mercy.
I can never show my weakness,
because there are others like me trying to seek this...
there place in the world.
Others who dont just want there lives to slowly unfurl.
Others who will sweat blood from their pores,
just to obtain what they want and more.
Others who want their fantasies and dreams....
Others who believe...
So they bleed, they bleed, they bleed.
Looking for there own salvation in the end...
and I and I are one of those bloodletters my friend...

:Nile Najee:

Somebody snipe me, I don't care enough to dodge the bullet man...

I don't care anymore... I really don't. I feel like I am destined to be a talented failure, thus I shall be talented at failing. I understand what it is one of my ex girls actually told me this (while she was crying about me leaving her) that I get complacent and I "settle" for whatever. I apparently just chill out, because I don't  have the drive. Not to mention that everything seems to go wrong when I am trying to do right. I usually pull out a fantastic save that just makes everything a little better. Whats the point in that though? I think its unfair for me to be able to half ass and get praise but if another guy goes half assed he gets..well a half ass amount of praise. Sometimes I wish I was raised with less open-mindness. It is almost like one part of me says, I need to move foward with the structured part of society (school, work etc.). The other part of me says eff it "I'm going to die anyway..." (sigh) What a way to look at life right? My head hurts and I know that I will not have all my R's on my papers. Well let me rephrase that, I MAY not have all my R's for my essays. ( R means ready). I someone how do tend to try to lean towards the I give a fuck side of my brain and I eventually come out on top, but its stressful and sometimes isnt even worth it. However, I like this class, I like this  college atmosphere so far and I don't want to just give up. The title of this is called, Somebody snipe me... because thats how I qwas feeling when I woke up this morning. Writing a little bit has cleared my mind and I think that maybe I can do this...just maybe.  I have been listening to alot of death metal too. That was really random, but for some reason the music has been really awesome to me. ^_^ I think I am done with this post for now... until next time, Nile najee is out. 

The Love Below

Hey there Nile Najee signing into the blog world again. Not sure really what to write about I still have to do my Academic essay and I still haven't found my flash drive. So I may have to retype all my essays again. I feel like things will work out tho. My dad seems to think I'm somewhat like Spongebob... I seem to always come out okay no matter what. Hmmm, I'm feeling somewhat down lately tho, I think thats why I havent been able to write as much. Not really even caring no more. I guess I can write about how much I am starting not to care about people forreal. Everyone person that I want to actually be in my life isn't fitting in there. This is mainly realtionship wise... I dont know what it is, but a brother gets thrown in the friend zone quick like its nobodys business. I think its just going to be like that for the rest of my life, because I really can't help that I am a good friend. Just seems like girls are so afraid to give me a chance, because they dont want to lose that friendship. Dayum.... My mind is all messed up right now, but its whatever.

 Anyway I'm keeping it moving.. till next time. May the force be with you....

p.s. I wage war with the stars, because they don't like my Star Trek mind/ close friends tried to leave me for dead when I tried to effect the masses/ wishing I could warp through time so life wouldn't be so tragic... :Nile Najee:

:Nile Najee:

Slow deaths NOT 4TW...

So its monday morning and I have tons of things to do as usual. The main thing I have to do is finish this Academic essay and I will feel alot more relieved. 

So heres the thing, I am going to college and I probably wont have any type of degree until around 2011-2012, but I'm looking at all these natural disasters going on around the worl and I'm wondering if I will actually be here. I mean this isnt some Y2k speculation BS. There is actually visible signs of impending catastrophe. I have kno idea what I am going to do with myself if the world starts collapsing around me.

I guess I would try to dodge all obstacles like I'm spiderman, save my family and such, maybe tell the girl of my dreams that I want to make love to her. Sounds like a movie script, but hey... why not? Maybe I might even die quick and painless instead of being crushed slowly under a large slab of concrete. Slow deaths seem like they would be the worst. The question is who really knows what deaths are quick or slow, not like dead people can tell us. Anyway I didnt write much, but thats just what was on my mind. Adios my reading friends. Don't die really soon or anything.... :Nile Najee:

Martha Splatter plays Pokeman and X-uh-C is fun....

Sooo it has come to my attention that I have not written anything on my blog in what seems like ages. Suprisingly this was told to me by someone other then myself, which is funny because I didnt believe anyone was reading my blog or cared about what I had to say. So I believe I am back on the ball. (I guess thats the right cliche). Hope you all enjoy whatever comes off the top of my dome in the next few minutes because I am not sure I will.

Where to start? I have no clue honestly. Since this is an academic blog, I think i will begin with school. School is not hard, but by far it is not easy. I think.. no, I know I have all A's in my classes except for math. I am struggling with it, but I think a little bit more studying might help me out, so I am not too stressed.  History is cool, Its not exciting...but I can tolerate it. On the other  hand my English class still keeps me extremely happy or extremely frustrated. The most recent paper I had to write (and still in the process of writing) is my Academic essay. I can't really grasp my arms around it with a loving embrace. I am not a fan of researching for an assignment. I mean I will research random information ALL day, but when it comes to school and works cited and bibliographies its a pain the arse. So yeah.. anyway random. random. random. Clams...

I am starving! *nom nom nom*. I swear I could eat a HUGE burger right now. Screw the whole veggie tale thing. I need a burger!! I am sitting in the library and even though I have my music on and I cant hear it, I know my stomach is talking to everyone in this computer lab. Its probably saying this.

"Dear people that around my human host,

You need to give him some food ASAP. If you do not I will temporarily take over his body and jump thru the window. That will not be a pretty sight. That is all."

So yep Im starving, but I dont want to break this 20. Hopefully my music will avert my attention from the tapeworm that lives in my stomach. Speaking of music I want to dedicate this post to a very new friend of mine named Chanel Ford. A little a bit about her. Shes black. Thats pretty much it. I mean theres WAY more, but It's too much awesomeness to explain in one post. Anyway she turned me on... (hahahaha funny) to alot of good arse music. I have been into alot of techno and rave music lately and she gave me a list of different bands that she effs wit. I have been in love with this DJ called Ms Kittin and she probably has some of the trippy-ist beats/songs you can imagine. This new sound of music I have been jamming to has prompted me to make another cool name for myself ( other then Nile Najee and Mad Hatter). Well its X-uh-C. Nothing incredibly creative... I just couldnt spell the actual word for the life of me. It looked cool on paper so I went with it. End of the story.

What else is there to say? Oh for some odd reason I have become attached to old pokemon games..and so have my friends. Isn't that weird? I can actually trade pokemon with people in 2010. Thats pretty wild since pokemon first started a LONG time ago lol You still got kids my age playing the new games and the old ones. Sigh... I swear I think I am losing my writing touch, but I think I am just a little rusty from not writting in a while. I am not even going to proofread this or anything because I am feeling really lazy today. Its Friday and I am bored and theres is honestly too much serious stuff going on for me to be serious myself and so methodical....

I just want to have fun... I am tired of trying to be a damn want to be revolutionist. Its stressful trying to find the negative in everything. I mean there is a lot of negativity in the world and it needs to be fixed, but I just want to relax. Is that too hard to ask? I mean sometimes I want to just hang out with some good friends and not worry about school or work or money. I guess I am just talking crazy... Anyway if you want to text or call this raving maniac. My number is 757-305.3537

Konichiwa and adios my friends

:Nile Najee: ;Mad Hatter;  #X-uh-C#

Essays and friends: friends and essays

Okay its been forever. I have not posted anything on my blog and I think it has affected my brain activity. I have had a bunch of projects, a math quiz and various other things to worry about. Yes, I have been slippin and sliding off track like Luigi in Super Mario bros. It's time to get back on the horse tho, I need to write my academic essay soon, even though its due April 23rd I feel like if I don't do it now I won't ever do it. Ugh, I dont even know if I want to do the topic I chose. How crazy is that? I have written a topic proposal about "College Racism" and I don't even know if I want to do the essay. I have a conference tommorow at 10:30 and what do I have? Nothing, Nada. I think I may cry. I don't even have writers block. I just do not have anything of interest that I could write about involving college. This is my first semester in college, so how the hell can I talk about a problem or problems in college? I know nothing. Anyway this essay is even more of a pain in the ass then the other ones. I mean I liked doing the other ones, but at least I could relate to those essay... Sigh, I guess i will figure something out in the next 48 hours. Hope somebodys praying for me, because I'm not praying for me. haha. By the way I definetly pissed off alot of people over the past few weeks and regained their "friendship". I gotta give a shout out to my bestfriend Ciara Santos tho. Most beautifully talented person, kind, funny and compassionate person I know. She really bring a dudes spirits up when hes down. I feel like making a graphic design for her. I really admire her and the way she overcomes her daily life struggles. I hope I can do it in like 30 minutes because I got class at 9:30. see whoever later.  :Nile Najee:

I just wanna rant!

I just kinda wanted to do a short PSA.

 Reasons why I am NOT a conformist.

1. I dress the way I want when I want.

2. I am black and I read for pleasure, not just for school

3. I listen to literally ALL types of music, I don't dismiss a song just because of the genre

4. I enjoy skateboarding even though I suck at it.

5. I am a straight man that actual has conversations with women and do not have an underlying agenda

6. I like all types of women; not just light skinned black girls and white girls

7. I watch anime and cartoons and I  still think I am pretty cool

8. I can rap and beatbox, not because I am black, but because its fun to do

9. I don't believe Jesus was the savior and the one son of God... shoot me. (I dont believe in religion)

10. I think I am allowed to say really serious stuff at times AND have a sense of humor sometimes

That is all.

Sick... lyrically and physically..and probably mentally...

I finally finished making my newsletter, which was the second part of my civic discourse paper. I have know Idea how I did it, because it feels like my nose is burning in hell. I think may be swallowed up in these sinuses. *sniffle* *sniffle*. I wish I was immune to everything I swear....
   Anyway I have alot going on right now, alot of it involves writing. I mean don't get my wrong I love writing, whether its for pleasure or for informative reasons I like to write. However, I dont like to write about the same....exact...topics! I have to write a research paper in my SDV class about the career that I want to choose. Its funny, because I defiently did an 7 page paper on just that for English 111.  I guess that I will have to suck it up and go all in. By the way I am writing elementary like, because my brain is slowly turning to mush and my esophagus is slowly turn into a solid piece of nothing. DX I have no idea what to do!!! I can't even think, I can't wait till this transistion period between spring and winter is over... I can't stand it, I am a Summer baby, point blank period. I live for the heat and the sun. Matter fact I think I am a plant  because I swear I could live off the rays of the Sun alone. oh man... I am veering off the course of logical brain activity.

Here are the next lines, of a young black techno kid, who eva neva kids, I mean, neva eva kids, but who really gives a shiiiit. they say hes too serious, they say he aint funny. They say he straight broke and aint got nare a bit of money. He raps real country, and extra deep fryed, and he aint neva lied when he says that he thinker. Hes on the brink of thinkin', himself off a bridge. Now let me speak as this kid... I am a 6 foot 1, son of a sun. Brighter then some, and dimmer then most. the sun's son neva boast about his intellect, but he is just best, does that contradict? I think so, but who cares? Nooone eva listens to the smart one, until its too late, like in all the horror movies, thats why I'm irate. Somebody please rewind the tape and make a diffferent decision so we can change our damn fate....

:Nile Najee:

Migraines and Essays...okay?

I have a migraine in my brain and its jumping up and down on my membrane causing me severe pain and its definetly breaking up my mindframe.... I hope the these Tylenols weren't taken in vain. I lay here, and I feel fear that my braincells won't be strong enough to get me out of here, and when I say "here", I mean my college career. I do hear, alot of loose lips telling me that I ain't spit, but I think this intro to some new sh*t will have them quiet in the pulpit. So here it is, the real biz---ness. I've been working on my literary, fit--ness. Can you dig this? I can, and my pen did, and my hand did, and probably my non-existant kids did. So read this, with an open mind, if you have time, but if you don't, atleast you read this short rhyme. Adios amigo, until the next lines.

My Civic Discourse Paper

Why does the general population of adults not understand that if the younger generation is not properly taught equally and fairly that the productivity of the world will not be prosperous? While various topics are brought up and addressed, funding for education is continually being cut. Why is something such as education and public facilities for youth not getting top priority? Children are pushed to do better in school and in their community, but their communities and schools do not have the resources. This is the dilemma that we face and this is the topic that I personally feel should be at the forefront of lawmakers and any cities minds. Now granted it is ultimately up to the child to choose the path of education and productivity, but if the extra push is not there at all, this will no doubt affect their progress. The lack of resources within education and youth centers is a nationwide problem, however being a Virginia Beach, Virginia resident I want to focus on my hometown.

By studying the problems and issues and maybe even exploring some solutions right here in my city, I can maybe see if there is a pattern in the education system throughout America. My specific focus is the areas that span between Newtown road and Virginia Beach blvd. and Independence blvd. and Virginia Beach blvd. The major neighborhoods of Lake Edwards, Bayside arms, Newpoint, Aragona, Campus East, Wesleyan and Northridge have a large child and student population. You would think that due to this large population of young people that there would be recreational center and reliable transportation nearby.

Sadly there is not, by car the bayside recreational (the closest recreational center to these neighborhoods is about ten-twenty minutes away. However, not all children can get a ride to the recreational center by car. If someone wanted to walk from one of these neighborhoods it would take no less than an hour to two hours to get there. Even if the bus were used as transportation, it would take approximately forty-five minutes to an hour.

This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the issues of not having an accessible public youth facility near these major areas. There are even more problems that warrant the immediate building of a youth center/recreational center that can be used by the public and geared towards the children of those areas. I have personal experience with these neighborhoods and recognize how important a youth center would be.