I don't care anymore... I really don't. I feel like I am destined to be a talented failure, thus I shall be talented at failing. I understand what it is one of my ex girls actually told me this (while she was crying about me leaving her) that I get complacent and I "settle" for whatever. I apparently just chill out, because I don't have the drive. Not to mention that everything seems to go wrong when I am trying to do right. I usually pull out a fantastic save that just makes everything a little better. Whats the point in that though? I think its unfair for me to be able to half ass and get praise but if another guy goes half assed he gets..well a half ass amount of praise. Sometimes I wish I was raised with less open-mindness. It is almost like one part of me says, I need to move foward with the structured part of society (school, work etc.). The other part of me says eff it "I'm going to die anyway..." (sigh) What a way to look at life right? My head hurts and I know that I will not have all my R's on my papers. Well let me rephrase that, I MAY not have all my R's for my essays. ( R means ready). I someone how do tend to try to lean towards the I give a fuck side of my brain and I eventually come out on top, but its stressful and sometimes isnt even worth it. However, I like this class, I like this college atmosphere so far and I don't want to just give up. The title of this is called, Somebody snipe me... because thats how I qwas feeling when I woke up this morning. Writing a little bit has cleared my mind and I think that maybe I can do this...just maybe. I have been listening to alot of death metal too. That was really random, but for some reason the music has been really awesome to me. ^_^ I think I am done with this post for now... until next time, Nile najee is out.
No comments:
Post a Comment